Thursday, January 25, 2007

So, as everyone has probably heard, David Beckham has moved to the US to play in the US league. This mirrors the move made by Pelé in the 1970's to promote soccer in the US. I predict that Beckham will have about the same success level. Be that as it may, I have a different theory to promote rather than the second demise of soccer in the US.

My theory is the theory of the Great Black Hole of Suck. I believe that with David Bechham and his wife Victoria moving to LA that this will be the final tipping point where all the congealed Suck that congregates in LA, a critical mass of Suck, if you will, will collapse in on itself to create the Great Black Hole of Suck. What the implications of this are, I have no clue. I predict that the compaction of the Great Black Hole of Suck will take some time and the outward effects will take more time. Those who live in LA will not feel so much because time dilates that close to a Black Hole but those of us outside will notice an increasing speed of Suck towards LA. This, of course, will cause the Great Black Hole of Suck to shine even more brightly than it does now as Suck is compacted against the Great Black Hole of Suck's event horizon (also known as the Oscars). Oh Joy!

posted by Chris  #4:44 PM | 0 comments |